Be yourself, wear red, smile and don’t be afraid to make eye contact.
Those are a few of renowned clinical psychologist and best-selling author Diana Kirchner’s best tips on how to captivate the love of your life.
The driving force behind her choice of profession started early. Growing up in the shadow of her brothers, with a Sicilian immigrant father who only valued boys, she began studying
relationships to find the most important love of all – self-love. Said and done. And ultimately she met the love of her life. Now her mission is to help others.
‘I want to help others find true love like I did. It has been my dearest wish.’
Clearly, she has succeeded. Kirschner has helped thousands of people find the love of their lives. Her book Love in 90 Days became an instant hit in 2010. According to her, the winning strategy is to bring out new sides of your personality.
‘You must dare to bring out facets of yourself you didn’t know were there. You need to empower yourself through what I call the “Diamond Self” process, by envisioning yourself in your most
Successful women who have embraced the ’Diamond’ (a stone that is ’strong, immortal and beautiful’) include Queen Latifah and Beyoncé. Latifah’s birth name is actually Dana Elaine Owens, but she has found another woman inside herself, whom she worships. And when Beyoncé wants to be even more irresistible than usual, she conjures up her alter ego, ‘Sasha Fierce.’
For those of us who prefer to stay out of the limelight and do not work on a stage, there are alternatives. Now that online dating is such a common way to meet a partner in much of the world, Dr Diana has a strategy for that too.
‘The pros are you can meet many more people than you would usually and you can learn a lot about someone by reading their profile very carefully! More than you might learn if you just met them at a party.
But there are pitfalls. ‘The cons are that it can be overwhelming and people do lie. You just need to sort through the profiles quickly to find the good ones. And you have to know what you are
And lifelines are important. Dr Diana says you don’t need to look far. A strong social network you can rely on is essential. ‘Ask for honest feedback from loving friends about how you sabotage yourself in dating, look for three persons to date casually so you are balanced out and don’t fall for anyone too soon! Try dating different types than you usually go for. And take it slow.’
What is the most common mistake most people make?
‘They fall too fast and too hard.’
So give it some time – at least 90 days.
Quick Facts Dr Diana:
Dr. Diana Kirschner was a frequent guest on “The Today Show” and starred in a TV show on love. She is the best-selling author of Love in 90 Days and Find Your Soulmate Online
in Six Simple Steps.